dr trump evil

Hercules Gets a Job

I was sitting at a table under a tent, on a street called Piotrkowska, in a city called Łódź, in a place called Poland, drinking a beer called Żywiec. It was spring. There was still a bit of a nip in the air, but the ladies couldn’t wait any longer to remove their fur coats…

A poem about Love by Dick Hercules

I was sitting in the Café du Monde in the French Quarter, my beignet yet untouched. It was one o’clock in the morning and I was elbow to elbow with other patrons, the tables being less than one foot apart. Much hobnobbing, and I the only one with a space to myself, reading the financials…

A poem about Seduction by Dick Hercules

Dear Readers, I was flipping through the classical section at the record store (I was looking for Paganini’s caprices) when a strong hand clamped on my shoulder. I spun around, and guess who I saw? Yes. Him. He smiled good-naturedly. I didn’t. He fist-bumped his own forehead and smiled again, waiting for me to be…

A poem about Coffee by Dick Hercules

A terrible commotion had erupted in the common room of the GHOP (Gentlemen’s House of Pancakes). The common room, of course, is the one where the riff-raff sit. The ones who eat their pancakes by hand and sip their coffee from the spigot. And never smoke a pipe. I looked up and who did I…

A poem about Wieners by Dick Hercules

Dearest Readers, I am truly sorry, but Mr. Hercules has threatened to arm wrestle me if I do not publish his poetry writing words. By way of forgiveness, I ask you to compare the arms below, which are not mine but very much like them, to the one above. I trust you will understand. Regrettably yours,…

A poem about Pancakes by Dick Hercules

Dear Readers, Some of you may know that on occasion I do function as agent for other (ahem)…writers. At the behest of my client, Diklitous Phantasos Hercules, I somewhat reluctantly post the following. I wish it be known that it is not my choice to do so. Please do not hesitate to contact me with…

I am Diklitous Phantasos Hercules!

The Poetry of Dick Hercules

Who is Dick Hercules? That is the question everyone is asking. Actually, that’s not true. For example, you are not. And no one else is, either. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be. It only means you don’t know you should be. Diklitous Phantasos Hercules is the second most noteworthy personage to hail from the…