The heel of my hand accidentally hits the wall of the shower and a resonant bass note sounds. I strike the wall of the shower again, start to pound out a drum beat with my knuckles and the fat part of my fist. Long-dormant synapses fire, the beat of an old song rises in my head. I can’t remember the name, but I think I know the band.
Toweling off, I reach for the phone and punch up YouTube. I find the song, and sure enough, it’s that band. It still feels good, the song, but I’m different, older, should be wiser but maybe not so much. I recognize the rage, the confusion, most of all the pain, but I’m standing apart from it now. It’s raw, the song, it has energy. It’s not who I am anymore. My connection now is less with the song than the memory of it, the connection that once meant a lot. There’s a part of me in the song, or part of it in me. Or maybe a past me, like an old, faded photo that makes you smile, or seethe.
This must be what it felt like, I think, for the generation before mine when they listened to their oldies on their oldies stations, looking around at a changed world while their soundtrack remained unchanged. Those stations don’t play oldies anymore, unless 80s pop is the new oldies. That’s what the one in my town plays, where I grew up.
The town where I grew up has changed quite a bit in some ways, and in others not so much. Kind of like me in that respect, and there must be some wisdom somewhere in this, but I can’t find it fiddling with a phone, falling down rabbit holes and still dripping, not wanting to get dressed or do whatever I’m supposed to do next.
***
If you see a ‘this video is not available’ message for the first link, don’t believe that lie. Click the YouTube logo to play it on YouTube. The sound and image quality are amazing considering it’s 27 year old footage of an as-yet-unknown band.
waltbox 
Who needs radio stations playing oldies when we can all do it ourselves using Spotify?
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Yes, you have to wonder how long radio will continue to be around. It’s practically obsolete.
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I miss radio. Yeah, the commercials are a drag but the connection to Spotify, Pandora, Sirius, etc., is a cold efficient one. When I travel, I always listen to local radio. The locally-produced commercials are the best with their cheezy sincerity. I’m just an old romantic. Emphasis on old.
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I hear you. I like to check out local tv channels too when I travel for the same reasons. There’s a sports-talk station where I live that will sometimes run 10 or more minutes of commercials, they seem to go on forever sometimes, and they are almost all local. (They balance it out with incredibly long stretches of uninterrupted talk time).
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Good! Keep going please! I like my Sunday night Walt fixes.
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Thanks, man!
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Even on Mondays 👶
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That emoji makes you look younger.
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It was kind of dark, which attracted me to it.
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That Jane’s Addiction song has been in my head most of the day.
I introduced my daughter to Love and Rockets today. She envies our generation. I can’t say I blame her.
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That Jane’s song will definitely stick in there more than most. I always thought Love and Rockets was a great name for a band. I have one of their CDs tucked away somewhere. The only song I remember offhand is Kundalini Express, which I included on my mix tape for psychedelic adventures.
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My CD wore out, though I might still have it somewhere for sentimental reasons. I listened to a bunch of their songs last night and found several I’d forgotten. I even found one I’d never heard.
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Okay, so No New Take To Tell and So Alive have now been excavated in my brain. Completely forgot about those and probably never would have remembered them otherwise. Their music seems to have gotten brushed under the rug by the mainstream outlets. Shame on them (the outlets).
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Have you heard this one before? I don’t remember it, but I’m glad I discovered it.
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It doesnt show on the comments that the link posted in the comments. I’ll put it in a post. It’s worth the extra effort.
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It shows. Yes, nice little instrumental there. Had not heard that before. Also did not know that the guys from Love & Rockets came from Bauhaus. I know nothing about Bauhaus, only that there once was a Bauhaus. They were outside my orbit.
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Bauhaus was their dark side. I didnt get into that band much, but it did an amazing cover of Ziggy Stardust.
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I dabbled in pretty much everything I heard about back then, just out of curiosity. Not sure why I didn’t dabble in Bauhaus. I tended to like the dark stuff. Maybe they were too dark. Or something.
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They were straight up goth. Here, have a listen.
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I did, and also to Bela Lugosi’s Dead and She’s In Parties. It doesn’t really grab me. could listen to it, but I don’t think I would choose to listen to it, if that makes sense.
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It does. I feel the same.
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A pleasure to read. Great post!
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Thanks very much!
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