Have you spent 4 minutes and 2 seconds of your life watching this Stayin’ Alive thingy? No? Well then, let’s do it together. Words cannot begin to express how much return on investment you will get. Check out the video below, then read. Or vice-versa, the other way around backwards.
1 – 00:00 This song starts up immediately, no time wasted, all instruments on stun. Then…
2– 00:04 It changes! Four seconds in, and already it’s changing. It’s Stayin’ Alive!
3 – 00:06 – That font! What is more gloriously 1970s than that font? Nothing. Maybe they could have made it brown. That might have made it more gloriously 1970s. But that’s nitpicking.
4 – 00:25 – The Bee Gees Strut. Check out the jacket over the shoulder of the middle Gibb brother (I don’t know my Gibbs, but I would guess Barry). Check out those white pants. Check out the 1970s! Who struts like that anymore? No one. Because no man can strut like that anymore. No man.
5 – 00:39 – The hair. The beard. The pose. Looking off into…what? Infinity? Magnificent!
6 – 00:41 – Popping into the doorway…magnificent! And the shoulder bops with the ah ah ah ahs! Glorious!
7 – 00:46 – Cutting on the beat. More ah ahs. Stupendous! And zooming in to the pearly chompers!
8 – 01:02 – What man can hit such a note? Only a 1970s man, I say.
9 – 01:14 – The subtle 1970s sexy dance. What man can dance so sexy,
yet so sneaky? If your guess is the 1970s man, well, you win.
10 -01:30 – The 1970s Man Door-Pop… Killing it! Yeah baby! Stayin’ Alive!
11 – 01:46 – Surely this is not the 1970s man making this squeal of ecstasy, but perhaps a seagull in heat, or some such.
12 – 02:15 – The Brother Gibb on the Right turns it over to the Brother Gibb in the Middle. As if the Brother Gibb on the Right were in charge of anything at all.
13 – 02:10 – The hand on the railing in time with the cymbal crash. Yeah baby.
14 – 02:42 – Ho ha! And surprise! Brother Gibb on the Right takin’ it back!
15 – 02:49 – Zoomin’ back in to the Master Brother Gibb.
16 – 02:54 – The Bee Gees Salute.
17 – 03:39 – The Bee Gees pre-sneeze.
There, wasn’t that worth it? Now go on back to your daily grind and just try to wish it wasn’t 1977 again. Just think, the original Star Wars would still be in theaters.