In which I take a break from my October mission of posting Halloweeny Horrors to celebrate a magnificent and comical Beast.
Behold Hippopotamus! via wikipedia.com
O, Hippopotamus! O, River Horse!
For that is what the Ancient Greeks in their wisdom called you!
Hippos + Potamos = Your Name.
You are almost, but not quite, heaviest of all land mammals.
Only Elephant beats you!
Though you weigh thousands of pounds,
You swim and dive well.
And can remain under water for five minutes.
Yet you gallop on land with surprising speed!
Thus do you earn your title.
O, River Horse! O, Hippopotamus!
An oily, red substance called “blood sweat” flows through your pores and covers your skin when you become excited.
And you mark territory by spinning your tail while defecating.
You are so cute!
When you rise from your bog you spout water much as Whale does.
And your enormous mouth opens up to four feet wide,
Revealing incisors which grow to over one foot long,
These you use not to eat,
Nay! But for combat!
How aggressively you kill or displace nasty Crocodile from your riparian habitat.
So feisty you are!
Hippo, an underrated mammal are you.
Now, Hippopotamus…
Beware the Hunter!
Know that you are easily shot from land.
Hide well in water, with only your ears and eyes showing.
And take courage in how easily you upset the boats of those who dare attack you.
It is said that your rough, spongy skin, inches thick, is virtually bullet-proof,
That the Hunter must hit you in the brain to bring you down.
River Horse, you are practically Zombie!
So be strong, Hippopotamus!
Be you.
image via the 1962 World Book Encyclopedia on my bookshelf, which I fear may contain many incorrect statements about Hippopotamus
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One of my all-time favorite Tweets
waltbox 
An ode to one of what must be nature’s strangest looking creatures. Well done.
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There is no other like him. He is Hippo Po TAH Moose.
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Reblogged this on EarlGrey&Ink and commented:
Ode to Hippopotamus- Love it.
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HippoPoTAHMoose is very loveable isn’t he? Thanks for the reblog. You changed up your site again!
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Yes, hippo is a very loveable creature as long as he doesn’t get cross with any pesky tourists.. This site has been up for a while 🙂 It’s a site where I save and reblog my favourite blog posts.
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Wonderful! I too have underrated this mammal in the past, but I shall never do so again.
Did you see the BBC story about the hippos which escaped from drug baron Pablo Escobar’s zoo and are now living wild in Colombia? http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-27905743
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I had not seen that article. Fascinating! Who knew Hippopotamus was so promiscuous?
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What they do under cover of water is their own business…
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You may have heard the story of a captive Hippo that fell out of a truck on the highway in Manitoba a few years back? In this alleged country great indignity is done them, like insipid telephone adverts. Thank you Walt, for such a kindly tribute to my spirit animal, Hippo.
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Glad I could help. Hippopotamus is the 2014 Mammal of the Year, in my book.
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I liked this, but they still scare me.
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But you are a warrior. You have nothing to fear. Just remember you are not likely to outrun him. You must shoot him from land. In the brain.
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But the katana wouldn’t be much good against him, would it?
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You could use it to prop his mouth open.
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Maybe he’d like it for a toothpick.
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Or a swizzle stick to stir his drinks with.
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You know, now that you say it, he does seem like the type of beast who would drink.
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I’ve never really tried poetry. Making hippos poetry material, you make it sound possible. I may try again.
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Most poems would be better if they had more Hippopotamus in them, don’t you think?
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