Ode to the Hipster

image: theberry.com

image: theberry.com

O, you magnificent Hipster, you!

You independent thinker, you counter-cultural devil!

Let us hear you espouse progressive politics and appreciation for art, indie-rock, and witty banter.

Let us hear you pooh-pooh your favorite band after they get played on the radio.

You are so hip!

Look at you puttering about your urban neighborhood in vintage thrift store clothing, tight-fitting jeans, complicated shoes, and special glasses.

Your messy hair bespeaks of effortless cool.

I see you are shunning mainstream advertising and media! (Except Apple).

And how diverse your friendships are!

But you reject the dude who says bro as your oppressor!

I suspect your choice of coffee is impeccable. Do you grind your own beans? But of course!

Hipster, you are the pioneer of trendiness! When we catch up with you, you have moved on. Or have begun to circle round behind us to wear something we stopped wearing long ago, after you moved on because we caught up with you. You are so sneaky!

Say, what are you writing on that typewriter? Is it code for an app? You silly goose! How ironic!

Hipster, if I can teach you one thing, let it be that – the true meaning of irony.

Funny hats are not ironic. Just funny.

And you, Hipster, are exquisite!

hipster 2

image: lifeofthepinkhippo.blogspot.com

Nerds+and+Hipsters.+The+description+is+one+of+four+rhetorical_21c21c_4575661

image: chabdado.blog.br

22 thoughts on “Ode to the Hipster

  1. This. Hilarious. I noticed too recently hipsters have adopted a scowl while walking with their trendy retro girlfriends, also scowling, he probably as a result of the skinny jeans, and she probably because she just realized she is with him.

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  2. I love this post! Until now I didn’t realize but hipsters are just the same guys who wore corduroys and played Dungeons & Dragons (I was one of them). They try so hard to be non conformist that they conform to non conformism, if that makes any sense?

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  3. Never gorgeous enough, thin enough or bothered enough to be a hipster. Looks like it takes too much energy. And I’ve got knock knees- I think I’d be automatically disqualified for that alone.
    Had a good scowl back in the day. Now, the ravages of gravity mean that even when I feel like I’m smiling, I look like a grumpy old baggage. Ooh, maybe that’s my ‘in’.
    BTW ‘Ravages of Gravity’ would make a good indie-rock band name…

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    • Well I definitely agree it must be a lot of work for the hipster to always stay ahead or sneak around behind. They can never rest, can they?

      Could you do it like the band Talk Talk did? Name your band, your first record, and your first single all Ravages of Gravity? That might be something.

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